there is something I'd like to share: it's a little time ago that I wrote this, but when rereading it I thought: this is still true...this is what I felt for a long time - although updating it would bring more aspects...
and: I did not know where to post it, but as it is in English, i chose this place. Maybe it is helpful to say that the following was part of a project of a preaching class. And maybe it is helpful to read Gen 21:8-21 as background for this...
Lament
Hear my prayer, o Lord; let my cry come to you. Do not hide from me in the day of my distress. Incline your ear to me; answer me speadily in the day when I call.
For my days pass away like smoke, and my bones burn like a furnace. Weak am I, and leached are soul and body: thirst pangs me, and the bread, which he gave me, is too hard to swallow. My heart is stricken and withered like grass; it is paralyzed through pain and dread. It is stricken by heat like burning fire and cold like a never-ending night. I want to flee from one to the other, but at no time I see a way. Hear my cry, o God. will this desert endure forever?
When I came to him from my home, he looked upon me with kindness and gentleness; inspite of my status, he looked with favor on me. When he made me his lover, the desert was made at the same time. Is it not a desert out of thornes of jealousy, and out of thistles of his mistaken response? Is it not a desert whose soil is as burnt as I am? Is it not a desert that leads into my loneliness and my desolation? I tried to flee there; but I went back. - Now I am sent away into the wilderness, and with me my child. Into the desert he sent me because of his power: into fire: but where is water? Into night: but where is light? I cannot bear anymore the burden of this memory, the burning child which is with me. I have no more water to erase its flames, nothing, which could nourish it and soothen its pain. So I split me up from my child, do not want to watch it burning, do not want to watch it dying, do not hope anymore. So I leave, I go and settle down nearly out of reach, closing my eyes: it is night.
But I cry to you, o Lord, I cry to you while asking you: incline your ear to me, answer me speadily when I call you.
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