Gegen - Missbrauch e.V.

das schreib ich jetzt fuer einen freund, der nicht an seine mail kommen kann und sein login-dings nicht aktivieren kann. das sind nicht meine worte, das sind seine

You know I'm talking to you. Yes, you know who I am and you know I am answering your question. You want to know why I am in your life, you want to know what I have to offer you, you want to know how I can help you. Have you thought that maybe I need your help, too? Maybe I need you to listen to me? You say you are too afraid to listen, that maybe you put the thought in my head and it isn't mine at all. Maybe, if you listen, then you will be dragging us both down into some kind of dark fantasy. You don't know that. I don't either. But I know I took the risk to tell you, when I dared tell noone else. I needed you to listen. I needed you to see the pictures in my head. There's always a dark one, an angry one, a malevolent one - that's what she said, what the therapist said. And now I've told you, you won't believe me. You say you're afraid you put it there, because she told you to expect to find one like that. You would rather hide behind your demand for proof, than *listen* to *me*. What if it is true? Would you leave me to face it all alone? Is that what you'd want from me? Is that what you'd like me to do to you, what you'd like any of us to do to you? You know what I think? I think you're afraid to face that it *might* be real. Because now it's in me, you can't make it go away and you can't destroy it. Because if you destroy it, you destroy me, and there are too many here to whom I am important. Yes, me, important! Me, who my own family and the world was ashamed to accept. I am important to people in here and you know that. You kow you can't take the risk of destroying me along with this dark thing in my mind. So you'd rather pretend it isn't real, you'd rather hide behind your doubts than face my truth. You're a coward! And through your cowardice you risk all of us. Do you have that right? Well? Do you? Think about it. Think what you'd say to Gareth and to Geoff and to Megan, if you let it destroy me. Think what she, the therapist, said to you: if one of us goes down, we all do. You to. Do you want to risk that?

Ian

i hear you. i'll listen now.

n